When You Feel You Can't Forgive Yourself!
Lot, the son of Abram's late brother, Haran tagged along as Terah started out on the adventure which only Abram was to complete. It seemed the natural thing to do as, it appears, he was the only child his father had.
When Terah died in Haran and Abram was called by God to continue to Canaan, Lot still went along with him.
It was clear Canaan was a place of destiny and Abram ( later to be known as Abraham) was the one called to that destiny. However, the benefits of that call rubbed off on Lot as he hung around his uncle, Abram.
The thought for this post is derived from what is known of the later days of Lot. I would assume that he married his wife from Sodom. I would also assume that it was the wife that incited him against his uncle, Abram, so that their servants began to quarrel over grazing space for their animals. And when Abram suggested they choose locations and split, Lot possibly was put to it by his wife to choose the region towards Sodom, her land. My reason for thinking this way is that nothing good was known to have come out of Sodom.
And, so it was that Lot left the shade and protection of his uncle, Abram and went to live at Sodom. In the course of time, a group kings made war against Sodom and overwhelmed her. They took captives and carried them away - people and property. Lot and his house were among the captives.
Abram was told, and he sent a rescue brigade after the conquerors of Sodom. His band defeated the kings and recovered all they took from Sodom, Lot in particular!
Still, Lot apparently went back to dwell in Sodom as later events showed. No further interactions with his uncle was recorded
.
Then we are told about the evil of the place called Sodom, and how God had sent out angels to verify the outcry against the city. Lot happened to be at the city gate when these angels arrived Sodom. Although, he saw them as ordinary strangers, he risked himself and his family to keep the angels safe from the Sodomites who were bent on molesting them. Yet, until the angels struck their attackers with blindness, Lot did not know they were angels.
The extent he was willing to go to secure the safety of the strangers under his care revealed Lot's goodness. The angels, possibly for this reason and for Abrams sake, granted him and all his people escape from Sodom and Gomorrah just before the cities were destroyed. When he invited the would be husbands of his daughters to escape with them, they so- like -Sodom mocked him and refused his invitation to be saved. As he seemed to be at a loss as to what to take along of all he owned, the angels literally dragged him and his wife and daughters to outside the city gate with instruction to keep going and not to look back. But, when the bombardment from heaven started, Lot's wife looked back in disobedience and turned to a pillar of salt.
All that Lot came out of Sodom with were just his two daughters. No slaves, no trade items, no property. Lot's life was spared, but he was stripped.
After the destruction of Sodom, Lot left Zoar, the nearby town he ran to for cover from the hailstones from heaven. But, instead of seeking society, he went up a hill and dwelt in a cave with his daughters. He became a recluse, and although he himself was old, he seemed not to have thought of the future of his his unmarried daughters.
As time went bye, the two daughters of Lot became anxious for their posterity. They devised a plan to have children by their father lest he should die, as he was the only man in their vicinity. The two sons they had by this incest became the progenitors of the Moabites and the Ammonites.
What an abominable end to the story of the man who grew up under the annointing and favor that was upon Abram!
I often wondered why Lot did not go back to his uncle. Abram would have more than welcomed him. And that would have given his daughters chance to be seen by suitors. Is it guilt that he chose the better part of the land when he and Abram separated? Or did he feel awkward being helped or saved by his uncle all the time?
Lot had such great prospect, but wrong choices cut him off. And it seems, he never forgave himself for all that befell him as a result of his living in Sodom.
The story could have been different if only Lot had returned to Abraham. Our stories can also turn out differently if we would forgive ourselves for our wrong choices, and rebuild the bridges we burnt against our relationships. We are checks unto ourselves. When we remove ourselves to a place where people can not reach us we fall easy prey to devil's abominable manipulation and temptation.
We need to always stay where the light will be shining on us to keep away the darkness that is lurking around seeking to engulf us!
